Little bit obsessed with spreadsheets at the moment.
Trying to make my life as orderly as my spreadsheets.
I’ve plotted the next three weeks into cells.
Kind of boring. Yet strangely satisfying.
And today is one of them.
Perfect timing. Our little family has had a bit of a rough time lately. And it looks like we are coming out of it. (Just as I knew we would, as we always do).
Both my boys had great days…but I’ll just talk about me!
Layne Beachley held a motivational talk at work today. I enjoyed it. As I always do things of that nature. I find they remind me of things I already know.
This may seem a little shallow, however something I aspire to is to have the confidence, and I guess trust, to be able to pull off the F bomb in a totally corporate environment. To me, it’s a symbol of being yourself. Being real. I appreciated it.
Come to think of it, I’ve always been a little obsessed by the F bomb (Fuck Jacqi, let’s just say it fuck!). To illustrate, here is this obsession in one of my teenage scrawlings (yes, I remember it in my head – well most of it).
A poem entitled Fuck is that which I’m about to write,
You might think that the sound of it is just a little trite…
(some lines which time has erased)
But if you looked inside my head I think that you would find,
A nail file and a sprained ankle –
A reference book not a mind.
Fuck I really ‘gave it to the man’ didn’t I?! They wouldn’t let me enter it in the Dorothea Mackeller Poetry Prize (no idea why?!)
As I was saying. Some days are Diamonds and this is one of them!
2009/2010 were pretty full on years for my little family (meaning Jamie, Hendrix and I). It started with Jamie having someone drive into the back of his motorbike on the way home from work. He survived, and it made us realise the value of living. Unconciously at first, we actually started living. Previously, I would not do things because I had to work the next day, or I was tired, or I didn’t have the right shoes. Basically, just scared and lazy. Bollocks to that!!! I don’t mean we go and party every night, but if we are a little more tired than usual because we’ve been up late listening to music or going to the bowl then so be it. I’ve realised that work isn’t fresh for me, so I don’t always need to be fresh for it (and I don’t mean that in a bitter, angry employee kind of way -I love and value my work – it’s just the truth!)
Speaking of work – By mid- 2010 I finally made the decision that had been brewing for probably 3 years – to resign from my job (well paid, but STRESSFUL!). Major move, especially considering we bought a house 6 months earlier! Anyway, was the best move I ever made (I’m still working for the same company – they offered me another role, same pay, same amount of work (if not more) but LESS STRESS! This change in jobs has meant I am altogether happier – and I am sure my boys are too. Isn’t it amazing what happens when you finally make a decision!!!
It feels fantastic to know that instead of just functioning through our lives, we are now actually living them. I am training for a half marathon, I’ve joined Roller Derby, Jamie and Hendrix are maniac skateboarders (my baby is seriously a daredevil…not sure how I feel about this yet, but I’m pleased he doesn’t look like being someone who will let fear stand in the way of what he wants to do….it’s part of the reason I am pushing myself to do more, as I don’t want to pass on my sometimes crippling fear on to him…) and we are starting to plan family adventures.
Oh yes, and I’ve started this blog. At the moment it’s random thoughts on the page, but writing is something I’ve always talked about…but never got off my arse to do. (Being a fraidy cat really sucks!)
I’m trying to make the funds stretch a little more this week. I like a little bit of a buffer, that isn’t a credit card. It’s set aside for fun and food on the weekend. It is possible to have fun (and there is always something already in the house to eat) without spending money. But it takes more planning and creativity.